Running From Knives aka Part 2

I bought some Mizuno running shoes based on the recommendation of our local running guru at the running store. I felt legit. Not really.



I decided to do the Couch to 5K plan (you can google it). I was able to complete the first 3 weeks without dying. I actually felt exhilarated, my endorphins were already responding. It's no wonder and it didn't take much. Surely I had an excess build up of endorphins since I hadn't done any exercise in 6 1/2 years to release them. Then my knees started hurting, REALLY bad. And I've had a baby without an epidural, so this wasn't just your average almost 40-year-old starting to run and everything's going to hurt syndrome. I had to go to the doctor. I was told I had "fat pad syndrome"--not a really uplifting diagnosis for someone just starting back exercising (for the name alone). It's when the cushioning under your kneecap gets inflamed due to weak quadriceps muscles. It took about 2 weeks but I got through it. Someone (who shall remain nameless but lives in the same house as me) suggested I run on the treadmill for my first couple of times back. Perhaps it wouldn't be as jarring on my knees as pavement. Okay.

I'm not really sure where I started back up in my plan at this point, but I think it was somewhere in week 2, which means I was still doing way more walking than running. I hit the Y, hopped on a treadmill, and completed my "run". The outside of my left ankle was complaining. I didn't tell anyone. I just tried to push through. There was no way there was anything really wrong with it. I tried to convince myself that I was going to have aches and pains as my body adjusted to this running thing, so I did the RICE thing--Rest, Ice, Compression, and Elevate. I also took large quantities of Motrin. It stabilized, mostly, and I tried to do some more of my plan.

And then I almost fell getting out of bed, so I gave in and went to the doctor AGAIN. Now at this point I am feeling like a complete loser. I had lots of thoughts going through my head; here are some of them:

"Am I just being a wimp?"



"Am I so athletically challenged that I can't even do something as straightforward as running properly?"



"How embarassing. I've gone and told everyone that I want to be a runner and I've signed up for a 5K and now I can't get past week 3 in my training. I'll never run this 5K. Fail."

I had a grade 4 (the worst) stress fracture in my left fibula and wore a big black boot for 8 weeks. In the middle of summer. I took the kids to the pool. I rode the exercise bike because that was all I was allowed to do other than swim laps. I tried to keep up my cardio and by doing intervals on the bike, I was able to work up a pretty good sweat. I still wanted to run more than anything. I felt psycho. It was tied to my emotions in a big way because I never felt like an athlete growing up. I didn't play any sports and was told I was uncoordinated. And now, here I am, free from all the peer pressure of high school, finally pursuing something that I feel very passionate about and my body is failing me.



There it is. I forgot I also wore the boot while we were on vacation in Seaside. I had to offset the hotness of the boot by wearing soffe shorts and tank tops everywhere. I would have preferred a boot in pink, green, yellow. Anything other than black. Good grief.

I saw runners everywhere. I wanted to trip them. It was such a strange experience to feel upset that I couldn't really "work out". I'd spent my whole life coming up with excuses so that I wouldn't have to work out and now I was desperate to.

Okay, that's enough for now. I'll dangle a carrot to keep you coming back. Part 3 involves a 5K race, an MRI, a bone density scan, and a post-menopausal bone disease.

I must stop and watch this on Netflix.